Onigokko- A Bleach One Shot
by caffeineandshiny
Summary: "Let's play a game," Unohana said... "It'll be fun," Unohana said…


**Onigokko- A Bleach One Shot**

 **Description: "Let's play a game," Unohana said... "It'll be fun," Unohana said…**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. I receive no payment for this story.**

It started over 50 years ago.

Soifon huffed as she marched down the hallway to Retsu Unohana's office. She had no idea what the medical captain wanted, but she had more important things to do than to cater to the whims of the senior captain.

Barging through the door and ignoring the stammered protest of Unohana's lieutenant, Soifon rested her annoyed gaze on the squad 4 captain.

"What is it now, Unohana?"

Unohana smoothly rose to her feet to greet her rude guest, the calming smile on her face only serving to annoy Soifon further.

"If you would excuse us for a moment, Isane-san, I need to speak with Captain Soifon."

Bowing Isane quickly left the room, trying her best not to run from the tension being created between the two deadly women.

"Tea, Soifon-san?"

"Unohana, don't bore me with pleasantries."

Unohana smiled again before pouring herself a cup, further infuriating the impatient Soifon. After taking a moment to enjoy sipping her tea (jasmine), Unohana spoke. "It worries me how much you have been working lately, Soifon-san."

Soifon starred at Unohana, a tick mark forming on her forehead. "Right…if that's what this is about then I'm sure you have patients to attend to. Don't worry, I'll let myself out." Turning to the door she was startled when a hand flashed by her face, closing the small gap that Soifon had opened.

Soifon turned around to look at Unohana, a quirked eyebrow her only visible reaction. Internally she was perturbed. It had been years that someone had moved fast enough to startle her. _'Not since_ she _left.'_ Soifon winced slightly before quickly shutting down that line of thought, turning her attention back to Unohana.

"Soifon. Over more centuries than you have existed I have watched officers and unseated Shinigami alike spiral downwards, becoming so focused on their work that they forget everything else. Some do it to escape the pain of having watched countless comrades die. Others simply become cold and jaded by the passage of time. Yet others become mindless drones, indifferent to anything but their duties. Time and again I have watched talented young souls waste their potential, their senses becoming dulled and their flexibility in combat stunted. They get themselves and others killed because of the stress they put themselves under, when it could have easily been avoided by allowing themselves a brief reprieve to mentally heal and rest."

Soifon angrily began to protest before she was cut off by Unohana.

"You are not the only captain that I have been watching. It seems to me that a great many of our Shinigami are in need of a distraction. Something to break up the monotony of day to day duties. Perhaps a game would do the trick."

"Unohana, I hardly think that a game will help with the functionality of the Gotei 13. Games are for children, or for fools who have far too much time on their hands."

"Nonsense, Soifon. One does not need to have the disposition of a child to enjoy a game, or to benefit from it." The captain nodded to herself, closing her eyes and smiling. "From this day forward, you will instigate and help me to monitor a game of tag."

Soifon twitched. "…tag? Unohana, I am not going to be caught up in this foolishness."

Unohana opened her eyes, staring intently at the Captain of the Stealth Force. Soifon shivered. Despite how pleasant Unohana appeared, Soifon's instincts were screaming at her that she was in danger. "Soifon, you _will_ participate. Unless you would like me to speak with the Captain-Commander about how frequently your squad members come in with injuries from 'training accidents'."

'… _this woman…'_ Soifon glared at Unohana but said nothing.

Unohana beamed. "No complaints? Wonderful, it is settled. If it helps, think of it this way. What better way to help improve the overall quality of our forces, not to mention their Shunpo, than to pit the entire Gotei 13 against each other in a friendly game of tag? From the strongest captain to the newest recruit, we can all stand to sharpen our instincts and learn from one another. And you will be able to observe it all!"

Soifon sighed. "Fine. If this is what it takes for you to leave me alone, then I suppose it cannot be helped." Stiffly she gave a slight nod of her head and left the room. She could have sworn she heard Unohana snicker as she left.

' _This is completely unacceptable. To force me to fraternize with the lower ranks in such a fashion … Unohana's idea of mental healing and rest is certainly unorthodox."_

Returning to her division Soifon was met by her lieutenant, Marechiyo Ōmaeda.

"Captain Soifon, how did the meeting with Captain Unohana go?"

Soifon didn't even pause as she punched the man in the gut while briskly walking past.

"Captain," he wheezed. "What-"

"You're it, Ōmaeda," Soifon snapped.

And so from that day forward a game of tag was established within the Gotei 13. No one was sure how Unohana had managed to convince the Captain-Commander to compel the involvement of all Shinigami, but nonetheless participation was mandatory. For the first few years, tensions ran high. You could be tagged from anywhere, by anyone. Friends, enemies. Officers. Anyone was a potential threat. At first, no one's word could be trusted as to who was currently 'it'. Sabotage was common place.

But as time went by people learned that it was more beneficial to work together than to act alone. Alliances formed. Divisions that would normally avoid each other at all costs were suddenly sharing information. Anything to avoid the shame of being tagged.

The information gathering skills of not only the Stealth Force, but the other squads as well, skyrocketed. Divisions like the 4th were suddenly forced to hone skills that they had neglected for centuries, just to keep up with the rest.

Officially, there were very few rules to the game. Unohana had declared the medical bay off limits and decreed that permanent injury was prohibited, but other than that the Seireitei became a warzone. Anyone could be tagged 'it', and so the alliances constantly shifted depending on who had been tagged. Despite it being considered shameful to have been tagged, one could redeem themselves and even earn 'glory' in the eyes of their peers by tagging a high-profile target.

Unofficially, it was nearly unilaterally expected that making certain people 'it' should be avoided at all costs. Namely the Captain of the 11th division, Kenpachi Zaraki, who had used his Zānpakutō to skewer his last target while gleefully shouting out "you're it!"

All and all, despite how on edge the game made people feel it also provided a much-needed outlet to the Shinigami and brought out the competition in nearly everyone involved.

Even Soifon eventually admitted that she was enjoying herself. Ever since that first day not once had she ever been 'it', despite more than a few Shinigami attempting to claim the glory of having tagged the Captain of the Stealth Force. Even Shunpo masters like Byakuya Kuchiki had been unable to keep up with the slippery Soifon. Her undefeated record was a source of awe for the new recruits, and it was even beginning to go to her head a bit. The game even had the side effect of putting to rest the doubts of the very few who had opposed her appointment as Captain.

' _Just you wait Yoruichi-sama_. _I'll prove that I'm faster than any other Shinigami. Even you._ '

 _50 years later._

Shunsui looked around the room, his eyes shifting from one of his peers to the next. It had been rumored by the Stealth Force that a high-ranking officer had been tagged recently. Purportedly a Captain.

About a decade ago the ladies had begun taking advantage of him. Batting their eyes and giggling cutely, they playfully teased him into letting down his guard. Next thing he knew the pretty young thing would lightly touching him in some way and pleasantly call out "you're it!"

He sighed. It was beneath his sense of honor to pass off the 'curse' onto someone in the lower ranks, like some Captains who were uninterested in the game did, but it was entirely too troublesome to target an officer.

Wearily, he glanced around again at the Captains gathered before trying to focus on what Captain-Commander Yamamoto had been saying.

Across the room Gin Ichimaru, Captain of Squad 3, smiled at him, looking for all the world like a snake about to sink its fangs into unsuspecting prey.

' _So, is it you then?_ ' Shunsui thought to himself, making a note to keep an eye on the white-haired Captain.

As the meeting came to a close, Gin began to cross the room towards Shunsui. Trying to look casual Shunsui sped up his pace a bit, attempting to close the distance between himself and his oldest friend, Jūshirō Ukitake. Gin matched Shunsui's step. Soon, he would have no choice but to make a break for it.

"Captain Kyōraku, would you remain for a moment?" Yamamoto's voice rang out over the departing Captains.

Letting out an unnoticeable sigh of relief, Shunsui turned and hurried past Gin before the latter could react.

"Yes, Head Captain?"

"Shunsui. More than enough time has passed since the hollowfication incident for you to choose a lieutenant." Shunsui glanced to the side, unsure of how happy he was to have been asked to remain behind any longer. Yamamoto noticed, and place a gentle hand on his student's shoulder. "I understand your attachment to your former subordinate, Lisa Yadōmaru, and I have allowed you more time than was wise to deal with your loss. However, the strength of the Gotei 13 is not complete while the lieutenant seat of squad 8 remains unfilled."

Yamamoto removed his hand and began to walk past Shunsui. "There are many promising young Shinigami, some within your own division. I would like you to have selected a candidate within the next month."

Shunsui sighed. Old man Yamamoto was right, as much as he hated to admit it. He had put off the selection of a new lieutenant for over half a century. He could not afford to put it off any longer. ' _Oh my poor Lisa. I am sorry_.'

A list of candidates was going through his head when the Captain-Commander spoke again.

"Oh, and Shunsui?"

"Yeah, what is it?" he responded distractedly. Perhaps it was time that he allowed little Nanao to let her skills shine.

Yamamoto gave a faint smile as he pointed with his cane at the shoulder he had rested his hand on.

"You're it."

…

…

"Dammit old man!"

 **Bonus!**

"How on earth did you manage to tag the Captain-Commander, Yachiru-chan?" a large busted red head asked. Her badge declared her the lieutenant of squad 10, Rangiku Matsumoto.

"Hmm?" A cute pink haired girl perked up at being addressed before beaming. "Oh that? It was easy. I just waited for Gramps to take a bath then I snuck in and surprised him. While he was frantically reaching for his towel I tagged him!" she declared smugly, proud of herself.

Several of the assembled women snickered to themselves. Even Unohana covered a small laugh while Rangiku shook her head, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"I'm really surprised that you didn't tag Kenpachi-san. Aren't you always going on about how you want him to have fun?" A few people present winced, wishing that Rangiku wouldn't put that thought into Yachiru's head if it hadn't occurred to the girl already.

"Why would I want to tag Ken-chan?" Yachiru cocked her head to the side cutely. "That would be too easy! Just because I like it when he has fun, doesn't mean that I can't have fun sometimes too, you know."

 ***bows* Thank you for reading! :)**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Onigokko- (n) a game of tag. Literally** _ **demon game**_ **or** _ **demon make-believe**_ **.**

 **Oni- (n)** _ **it**_ **; the person doing the tagging. Literally** _ **demon**_ **or** _ **ogre**_ **; a type of y** **ō** **kai.**

 **Yes, I know that I used Japanese honorifics while putting also putting in English titles such as "Captain". It is just, for me, honorifics such as "-chan, -kun, -san, and -sama" use slightly different context than their English counterparts. We don't usually go around saying Mr. Johnson to our classmates or peers without it being considered somewhat strange haha. And the lack of them, or use of a specific one, can change the whole undertone of a conversation.**

 **Vs with "Captain" and "Taich** **ō** **", or "Lieutenant" and "Fuku Taich** **ō",** **both the English and the Japanese are nearly identical in meaning and in context. So I went with the one that is recognizable to more English speaking people.**


End file.
